What is Unmasking in Autism?

What is unmasking in autism? What does autism unmasked look like? Learn all about autism unmasking below and get tips and resources for how to unmask.

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Up until a few years ago, you didn't really see people talking about concepts such as autistic camouflaging, social masking, or unmasking. Yet, they are incredibly important topics to learn about, especially if you are autistic yourself. And, thankfully, more and more people are sharing their experiences.

Now, once you understand the basics of autistic masking, the next logical step is to look at the unmasking experience and what that means. Right? Well, that's obviously what we're going to explore here...(I mean the title kind of gives it away, doesn't it?)

Specifically, we're going to dive into answering the question: what is unmasking in autism? You'll discover what it is, the motivations or reasons behind it, what it looks like to be an unmasked autistic person, and more.

What is Unmasking in Autism? A Definition

If you were to look up the term unmasking in a dictionary, you would see definitions such as "to reveal the true nature of" or "to remove a mask from." (source) And that's precisely what unmasking in autism is about.

For a more specific definition, unmasking can be defined as the process of removing or giving up masking and revealing one's true, authentic, and autistic self.

It is important to highlight that unmasking in autism is a process that requires a lot of self-acceptance and self-discovery. So, it is deeply personal. That means that the process will be unique to each and every autistic person.

Motivations & Reasons to Unmask

If you're familiar with autistic masking at all (which you should be before reading this), then you're probably aware that there are lots of reasons why autistic people might mask their autistic traits.

Unsurprisingly, there are also a number of reasons to drop the mask, so to speak, including:

• For mental health considerations

• To be more authentic and true to oneself

• To find and develop healthy coping strategies

• Due to social exhaustion

• They're unable to maintain the mask

• To manage sensory overload

• They're in a safe place or among people they trust

• To educate others about autism

• For self-regulation purposes

• For self-advocacy purposes

• To reduce stress and anxiety

• To build deeper and more meaningful social relationships

• To avoid other long term consequences and effects of autistic masking

Remember, unmasking is a personal process so reasons may vary from one autistic person to another.

Yet, as you can probably tell from this list, unmasking is beneficial and healthy. I mean less stress, deeper connections, managing sensory overload, better mental health...those are all great things!

But what does the process of unmasking involve? What does it look like? What helps a person drop the mask? That's what we'll look at next.

What Does Autistic Unmasking Look Like?

The following are some examples of what autistic unmasking can look like. Keep in mind that it may look different for every individual (tired of me saying this yet?). It is worth mentioning, though, that it's all about embracing your autistic identity and trying to live more authentically. That might mean:

• Accepting your autistic traits and being more open about what it's like to be autistic

• Celebrating neurodiversity

• Stimming freely

• Paying attention to your sensory needs and using sensory tools and strategies as needed

• Advocating for your needs

• Using accommodations and supports (e.g., visual aids, fidgets, sensory tools, AAC device)

• Educating others and sharing your own experiences

• Setting boundaries and sticking to them

• Embracing special interests

• Exploring your own identity

• Prioritizing self-care and well-being (e.g., taking breaks to recharge and recover, practicing healthy coping strategies, doing things at your own pace)

While it's helpful to know what it can look like, sometimes it's difficult to know how to get to that point or where to even start. Especially if you are new to this process. So, are there certain things that help a person unmask? Well, that's what we'll look at next.

How to Unmask: Things You Can Do or Try

Not sure where to begin when it comes to unmasking? Here are some things that can help you during the process:

• Rediscover a passion and embrace your special interests

• Connect with others in the autism or neurodivergent community (talking to others who have similar experiences can be super helpful!)

• Spend time alone and take time for self-reflection

• Learn about your autistic traits and embrace autistic culture (resources here)

• Stim freely

• Infodump about your passions or special interests, especially to someone you feel safe around and trust

• Listen to your favorite music or rewatch your favorite movies, shows, and videos

• Rely on things that are safe and comforting in terms of sensory input (e.g., eating samefoods, spending time in sensory-friendly spaces, using fidgets or sensory tools, engaging in calming sensory activities, wearing clothing that is comfortable)

• Ask for support and accommodations

• Try using other modes of communication (e.g., using scripts, communication cards, or an AAC device) that will help with social interactions

• Acknowledge any internalized ableism and work on dismantling that

• Use visual supports (e.g., checklists, visual schedules, social stories, written supports, communication cards)

• Establish boundaries

• Go at your own pace and do things on your own terms

• Educate others about autism, sensory processing, and autistic traits

• Build a support network with people you trust

• Read about others' experiences with masking and unmasking (see a couple of book recommendations below)

Obviously, this list is not exhaustive, but it is a good starting point for those who might be learning how to unmask. Remember, this process is personal and highly individual (repetition helps, okay?). So, do what works for you.

If you need more strategies and ideas, keep in mind that there are books that go into more depth on this particular topic, which leads me to the next section...

Useful Books About Unmasking in Autism

Ready to learn more and want to dive deeper into unmasking? Well, here are some book suggestions that you might be interested in:

1. Taking Off the Mask by Dr. Hannah Louise Belcher - This book is filled with lots of research and information about autistic masking and camouflaging. It also includes practical exercises to help autistic people. The book is relatively short too (around 150 pages) so it shouldn't take too long to read through.

2. Unmasking Autism by Devon Price - I know that many autistic people have found this book helpful and really informative. It comes highly recommended! It's a book I started reading, but never finished (and probably should try to read again).

A Summary of Autism Unmasked

We covered a lot of information above. So, let's do a quick summary of what unmasking in autism is, what it looks like, and what you can do to help.

• Unmasking is the process of removing or giving up masking and revealing one's true, authentic, and autistic self.

• This process of unmasking is personal and highly individual so it will look different for every autistic person.

• There are plenty of reasons to unmask, but two common ones are for mental health reasons and to be more true to oneself.

• Autism unmasked looks like accepting your autism, stimming freely, advocating for your needs, using accommodations, setting boundaries, and exploring your own identity.

• To get started with unmasking, you can try connecting with others in the autism community, embracing your special interests, learning about autistic traits, using visual supports, and reading about others' experiences.

You now have a better answer to the question: what is unmasking in autism? and, hopefully, this information will help you as you begin to unmask (or support someone else who might be trying to unmask). Good luck!

Tips & Strategies for Presuming Competence

A list of tips and strategies for presuming competence. Actionable things that parents, teachers, therapists, and other professionals can do.

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A phrase that you might hear a lot in special education, speech therapy, or AAC circles is presumed competence.

But knowing what presumed competence means and why it's important is one thing.

On the other hand, knowing how to put it into practice is a whole other thing.

Perhaps you already know the basics of what presuming competence means and maybe you're like, "Okay, it all sounds great and all, but now what?" What are some actionable things that you can actually do? Where do you start? What should you avoid doing? How can you advocate for inclusive education settings? Those are the kinds of questions that we're going to explore and answer below.

Specifically, we're going to look at some tips and strategies for presuming competence in a wide variety of settings. That might be at home, in therapy, in special education or a general ed classroom, or somewhere else entirely.

Think of these ideas as a bit of a checklist of sorts to make sure you're doing what you need to be doing to best support a wide variety of individuals and accommodate a wide array of abilities. Building inclusive educational settings and classrooms is always important. So let's dig in!

Tips & Strategies for Presuming Competence

Please note that the following list of tips is pretty thorough. So, you might find all of this information about presumed competence overwhelming. Remember, you can always start with one or two strategies first and then go from there.

Keeping that point in mind, let's take a look at some of the actionable things that you can do when it comes to presuming competence:

• Speak to them normally and in age appropriate ways (e.g., avoid baby talk and over simplified language, consider tone and speed, use age appropriate vocabulary)

• Honor and support all forms of communication (e.g., gestures, AAC, pictures, spelling, sign language) and find ways to help an individual communicate

• Adapt your own communication styles and be flexible (e.g., modeling scripts and gestalts, modeling on a communication device, acknowledging echolalia)

• Encourage them to speak or communicate for themselves (e.g., do not speak for them, teach them self advocacy skills, provide extra time for them to process and communicate - see the power of waiting)

• Acknowledge them like you would any other person

• Include them in conversations (i.e., do not speak about them in front of others as if they aren't there and instead talk directly to them)

• Take a strengths-based approach and focus on what they can do (there's often too much focus on what someone can't do, which can lead to viewing some individuals as incapable)

• Respond to and acknowledge all attempts to communicate (a simple nod or yeah can go a long way, even if you aren't sure what they are trying to communicate - especially important for our gestalt language processors)

• Tailor support to their individual needs and preferences vs. tailoring them to the disability or diagnostic label

• Shift your mindset and attitude to make sure that you're setting them up to succeed rather than assuming they will just fail

• Focus on an individual's abilities and needs instead of describing them using functioning labels or by developmental levels (i.e., avoid referring to someone as high-functioning or low-functioning and instead say concrete things like "they can read at a 5th grade level" or "they find visuals helpful")

• Avoid making assumptions about what they can or can not do based on their disability, neurodivergence, or diagnosis

• Reject and question stereotypes, consider your own biases, unlearn harmful practices, and reserve judgment

• Keep learning about best practices related to disability, neurodiversity, and related topics in order to continue to improve support and inclusivity. Doing so will also help you with the previous bullet point. (e.g., read books by disabled and neurodivergent authors, stay up to date on the latest research and best practices, follow disabled and neurodivergent creators on social media)

• Use respectful and inclusive language (e.g., opt for neurodiversity affirming language and avoid deficit language)

• Ask for permission before offering assistance or sharing information with others (i.e., respect their privacy and their boundaries)

• Resist the urge to withhold information out of fear that they might not grasp it or understand it (i.e., if you would share it with any other child/person, share it with them too)

• Recognize that they might not be able to demonstrate what they truly know or understand (i.e., there could be a big gap between what they understand and what they are able to show that they know - especially when it comes to standardized tests)

• Expose them to age appropriate content like you would anyone else their age

• Observe an individual's behaviors, actions, and expressions and try to determine what those behaviors might be trying to communicate (e.g., yelling or hitting when they are feeling overwhelmed or anxious)

• Offer them a variety of opportunities to demonstrate their skills, abilities, and talents

• Provide choices for how they can demonstrate their skills, abilities, and talents (e.g., typing out an assignment vs. handwriting it)

• Provide appropriate educational supports and accommodations that will help an individual reach their full potential

• Use their strengths to encourage the individual to show their understanding (e.g., for hyperlexic learners, that means relying on written language vs. just spoken)

• Recognize that standardized tests have limitations and may not accurately capture an individual's true abilities or potential (the book Drawing a Blank touches on this issue in relation to hyperlexia and comprehension)

• Set expectations that reflect the individual's potential vs. setting low expectations based on assumptions or stereotypes

• Prioritize safety and trust (e.g., follow the child's lead, don't withhold favorite objects, focus on connection over compliance, use trauma informed care or therapy)

• Advocate for inclusive environments and celebrate diversity (e.g., accommodate various abilities and sensory needs, use a variety of diverse books in the classroom, use neurodiversity affirming practices, reduce sensory triggers, celebrate differences)

• Be patient and remember that progress may take time (i.e., every individual develops at their own different pace)

Some Final Notes on Presuming Competence

As you can see, there are a variety of actionable ways to presume competence on this list. Some of these strategies are things that you will do behind the scenes. For instance, shifting your mindset or continuously learning. However, a bulk of them are things that you need to be constantly monitoring - in the moment - while working directly with someone.

You'll also notice that some of these tips for presuming competence will be relatively easy to do, such as speaking to kids in age appropriate ways. And others might require a lot more work and patience, such as unlearning harmful practices.

It's also a good idea to consider these strategies and tips during IEP meetings as well. After all, they can be a great way to guide educational goals and outcomes. So, be sure to discuss them with the special education teacher, resource teacher, general education teachers, and other support staff on the IEP team.

Speaking of which, presuming competence is something that all members of the IEP team should be on board with. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. So, sometimes a lot of advocacy might be required to get the team on board. In this case, you might have to start small or simple.

It's also especially important to keep these tips in mind when it comes to working with individuals who are nonspeaking or have limited verbal communication skills. Too often, they are presumed incapable of learning or understanding and that's simply not the case.

Remember, presuming competence is the "least dangerous assumption" (source) so we need to see all individuals as capable of learning.

Now, will you make mistakes along the way? Absolutely! You're human after all. No one expects you to be able to master all of these overnight. So keep the last tip about presuming competence in mind for yourself: be patient and remember that progress may take time. Having a growth mindset will also help tremendously.

Good luck incorporating these strategies for presuming competence into your teaching, your therapy sessions, your parenting, and so on. Your efforts and your dedication to learning, growing, and doing better are much appreciated.

Presume Competence: What Does it Mean & Why is it Important?

A look at what presume competence means and why it's important.

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There are a lot of different terms and phrases that you might come across when learning about topics like autism, hyperlexia, neurodiversity, gestalt language processing, disability, and so on. There's also a lot of acronyms to navigate. It feels like learning a whole new language some days!

Then there are also some terms that you might encounter as your child starts therapy. Or there are the terms that get tossed around during meetings with the special education team.

One specific term or concept that you might come across frequently - especially as it relates to augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) - is the term presumed competence. It's quite an important concept and term to discuss, I might add. It's also a term that you might see popping up more and more on social media lately.

But what exactly does it mean to presume competence? And why is it important? Well, that's what we're going to discuss below.

Presume Competence Definition

First, let's break the phrase down into its two words:

• Presume = assume, believe, expect

• Competence = ability, capacity, proficiency

In other words, presuming competence is the belief that an individual is capable of thinking, learning, and understanding, even if there's no tangible evidence, they aren't able to show it yet, or regardless of what standardized test scores show. 

Basically, presuming competence is about:

• Giving people the benefit of the doubt

• Offering support and providing opportunities for individuals to show their skills and their potential

• Not making assumptions based on their challenges, weaknesses, disabilities, and/or diagnostic label

• Treating people with respect

• Valuing everyone's unique strengths, abilities, and contributions

Why is Presuming Competence Important?

Now that you have a better idea of what it means to presume competence, let's look at the benefits of doing so. Here's why it's important to always presume competence:

• It's the "least dangerous assumption" (source) as presuming incompetence, for instance, would be much more harmful

• Reduces stigmas and rejects stereotypes that are associated with disabilities

• Supports inclusion

• Improves communication

• Strengthens relationships

• Values and respects individuals for who they are, as well as their unique strengths and contributions

• Gives people a chance and provides opportunities instead of making assumptions about what they can and cannot do

• Prevents underestimation because you are setting appropriate and high expectations (vs. setting low expectations based on stereotypes or a diagnostic label)

• Recognizes that traditional or standardized assessments may be flawed and don't always give an accurate representation of what one can do

• Strengthens self-esteem and fosters independence

• It's empowering

Obviously, this list is not exhaustive. Yet, you can see how powerful presuming competence can be. Especially with minimally speaking or non-speaking individuals who, too often, aren't always seen as capable.

But what does presumed competence look like in practice?

What Does Presuming Competence Look Like?

To avoid overwhelming you with too much information, I'm only including a small list of examples below. I will have another post that is much more detailed. But here is a simple list of what it looks like to presume competence. It means:

• Supporting all forms of communication (including AAC)

• Using a strengths-based approach

• Tailoring supports and accommodations to the individual vs. tailoring them to the disability or diagnostic label

• Seeing individuals as capable of learning

• Providing opportunities

• Offering choices

• Fostering an inclusive environment

• Celebrating diversity

• Not making assumptions

• Rejecting stereotypes and reserving judgment

• Building authentic relationships based on safety and trust

• Recognizing that sometimes there's a difference between what someone understands and what they are able to show and finding ways to support individuals in showing their understanding

• Setting expectations that reflects the individual's potential vs. setting low expectations based on assumptions or stereotypes

• Recognizing that behavior is communication and has a purpose

You might already be doing some of these things naturally, especially if you are taking a neurodiversity-affirming approach to your parenting, teaching, or therapy. And that's great! But unfortunately, presuming competence still isn't standard practice for some professionals or in certain fields.

If you'd like to learn more about how to presume competence, read these tips and strategies for presuming competence.

A Quick Recap of Presuming Competence

Just to recap all that was discussed above, here are some key takeaways:

• Presuming competence is about believing that all individuals are capable of thinking, learning, and understanding

• Presuming competence is important because assuming otherwise is much more harmful. In other words, presuming competence is the "least dangerous assumption."

• There are lots of ways to show that you are presuming competence, including: supporting all forms of communication, taking a strengths-based approach, providing opportunities, rejecting stereotypes, not making assumptions, being respectful and inclusive, and giving people the benefit of a doubt.

Thanks for taking the time to learn more about what it means to presume competence. Hopefully you found this information helpful.

Free Gratitude Jar Printable

Looking to try a simple mindfulness exercise with your kids or teens? Try this free gratitude jar printable.

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Nearly five years ago, I started a gratitude journal. It has had such a positive impact on my life (and helped me better process those really hard days).

Every night, I write down three things that I am grateful for, no matter how small or silly those things might be. It might be an action that someone did on my behalf. It might be something someone did that made me laugh. It might be something I am proud of or something that surprised me during the day. Writing those things down is such a great way to reflect and appreciate the good in my life.

Keeping a gratitude journal like this is such a wonderful mindfulness exercise. Plus, it's something that not only adults, but children and teens can do too.

And that's where this free gratitude jar printable comes in. It's a great tool for helping kids and teens start to reflect and be appreciative of the good in them and others, as well as the good that is all around them.

About this Gratitude Jar Printable Pack

This gratitude jar printable is all about identifying the things you appreciate and are grateful or thankful for in your day to day life. The idea is to help you be more mindful by considering what went well during your day or what made you happy, even if your day was crummy overall.

Like I mentioned earlier, it's a simple mindfulness activity that anyone - no matter the age - can do. Yes, even kids. Besides, it's not something that takes long to do either. You can simply spend a few minutes each day writing down something that you are grateful for.

Before you download the printable though, let's take a look at some ways you might use this printable gratitude jar. We'll also look at some prompts to get you started.

Tips & Suggestions for Using these Gratitude Jars

There are a variety of different ways to use these printable gratitude jars as you will see. However, feel free to get creative and come up with your own ideas if you'd like.

• Write down what you are grateful for

• Draw pictures of what you are grateful for

• Cut out pictures from magazines or newspapers of what you are grateful for and glue them to the page

• Print off pictures of what you are grateful for and glue them to the page

• Laminate the printable so it is reusable

• Print off multiple pages and make a gratitude journal and fill in a jar every night, once a week, or even once a month

• For really little kids, encourage them to name what they are grateful for and you can write or draw it for them

Not Sure What to Write or Draw? Try These Gratitude Prompts

Sometimes it can be hard to name or list some things that you might be grateful or thankful for. Especially for kids. And even more so for hyperlexic or autistic kids who often find open-ended writing activities like this pretty overwhelming (see this post for more information).

So, here are some prompts to consider when filling in your printable jars. And don't worry, this list is included with the printable jars as well.

• Family members

• Friends

• Pets or animals

• Something someone did for you recently

• A favorite object or belonging

• Something in nature

• Specific skills, talents, or strengths that you have

• Something you are proud of

• Something you like about yourself

• A challenge that you overcame

• Something you are happy to have

• Someone or something you love

• Holidays or seasons

• Your favorite people, memories, animal, sport, hobby, toy, song, book, places, food, teacher, items, etc.

• Something beautiful

• A gift you've received

• Something that made you laugh or smile

• Something you enjoy doing

• Something you use every day

• Something that brings you comfort

• Something you find calming or soothing

Download the Free Gratitude Jar Printable Pack

This printable is 13 pages total. There are four blank jars with different wordings, four jars with lines and different wording, four jars with hearts and different wordings, and a page with some prompts of what to write in your gratitude jar (the same prompts as above). Feel free to pick and print off the version and wording that makes the most sense to you.

To get your copy of the gratitude jar printable, click the link below:

>> Click here to download the free printable

 

Free Social Stories About How to Do the Laundry

A collection of free social stories about how to do the laundry. Printable and video social stories for kids are included below.

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It's important to teach kids self-care and life skills, no matter the age. And today we're going to talk about laundry.

Ah yes, laundry...

Specifically, we're going to look at some free social stories about how to do the laundry. That way you can help kids, teens, or young adults learn the basics, from sorting and washing clothes to drying and folding.

Free Social Stories About How to Do the Laundry

Have you been looking for a social story about sorting clothes, doing laundry, and folding clothes? Then look no further than these free printable laundry social stories. Some require you to have a Teachers Pay Teachers account (which is free!) before you can download them.

I've rounded up some options for you to explore. That way you can find the best laundry related social story for yourself or your child or teen. Or you can simply use ideas from different stories below to write your own custom story (free social story templates here to help).

Creating a custom story will be especially important if you use a laundromat, hang dry, use dry cleaning, or anything slightly different, as those topics aren't included below. In other words, I couldn't find much in terms of free stories on these topics.

Please note that just because a social story is listed here does not mean I endorse its content. After all, many social stories tend to be poorly written and/or teach autistic masking. Besides, I haven't read all of these stories word for word myself. So please read through the stories carefully before using them.

1. How to Do Your Laundry Social Story from ASERT - This simple story talks about the basics of sorting, washing, and drying your clothes. It uses colorful clipart and simple text.

2. It's Time to Do Laundry Social Story from Kaitlynn Ferraro on TPT - Here is a simple and editable social story that goes over the steps of doing laundry. It uses clipart.

3. I Can Do the Laundry Social Narrative from Middletown Centre for Autism - Here is a simple one page social story that includes both clipart and real photos. It's pretty basic, but it could be a great starting point for writing your own. You'll also find some other laundry visuals here.

4. Clean vs. Dirty Clothing Social Story from AdvanceSPOT on TPT - This story talks about clean versus dirty laundry and what to do with dirty items. It uses simple clipart and doesn't look like a particularly detailed story.

Video Social Stories About Doing the Laundry

Here are some video social stories that talk about different aspects of washing your clothes. You can use these in teletherapy sessions, social skills groups, life skills groups, at home, and/or classroom settings. Videos are always a great alternative to printing off a story.

Like the stories above, some of the wording in these videos aren't always great or they might be incomplete in some instances. But I wanted to make sure you had lots of different options for helping your child understand how to sort, wash, dry, and fold laundry.

I hope you find these free social stories about how to do the laundry helpful. If anything, they should give you a good starting point for writing a customized story if you'd prefer something more detailed and specific.

How Interests in Hyperlexia Evolve & Change

A look at how interests in hyperlexia evolve and change as the hyperlexic child grows. We'll answer some common questions and talk about some other interests the child might have.

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It all started with letters, didn't it?

Then the next thing you know, your kid is fascinated with license plates, stopping to trace the letters on every plate they pass.

Then, out of nowhere, they start reading. And your mind is absolutely blown.

Then your floor constantly looks like a ransom note because there are words and phrases spelled out in colorful letter magnets everywhere. "Clean up" was a personal favorite of mine...

Or maybe your floor is covered in logos or brand names like Pixar and 20th Century Fox.

Or maybe they take a liking to fonts and could happily spend hours typing the same word in different fonts on your computer.

Then, before you know it, they're learning other languages and you can barely keep up. Russian. Arabic. Korean. All I can say is thank goodness for Google Translate!

The point here though is that a hyperlexic child's interests evolve and change as they grow. I know it might not seem like it when you're in the thick of the toddler and preschool years, but that interest in letters can be expanded upon. It eventually opens the door to new interests.

So, let's take a closer look at how interests in hyperlexia evolve and change. After all, as Susan Martins Miller so succinctly put it in the book Reading Too Soon, hyperlexic "interests change."

But First...Some Common Questions About Hyperlexic Interests

Over the years, I've seen variations of the following questions regarding hyperlexic interests:

• Will their interest in letters and numbers always be this intense?

• Do they ever outgrow this interest in letters?

• When will the interest in letters fade?

So I thought it would be helpful to address these common concerns first.

If you have a hyperlexic child, which I'm assuming you do if you're reading this, then you already know how intense and all-consuming the child's interests in letters can be. Especially in the early years where it's how most of these kids spend their time.

For instance, Ostrolenk et al. (2023) noted that "the mother estimated that this interest occupied 90% of both children's free time" and, honestly, I'd say that's pretty accurate. The other 10% is probably them sleeping while hanging onto a letter toy or dreaming about letters...

Now, will their interest in letters always be this intense or all-consuming? No, it likely won't. Obviously, all kids are different so it might remain intense for some, but, for most, the intensity of the letter interest wanes as their interests expand.

Perhaps you're also wondering if their future interests will always be this intense too. Well, not necessarily. For some, their interests might always be this intense, but in our experience, nothing was as intense as those toddler and preschool years when my son was at the height of the letter fascination period.

As for the second question, about outgrowing their interest in letters, the answer is not really. They will likely always have a love for letters and find letters comforting. As Ostrolenk et al. (2023) highlighted, "their interests had soothing abilities: singing the alphabet song could help calm the children when needed."

So, don't be surprised if, years from now, they return to those same interests, especially in moments of overwhelm or stress. After all, those interests have always brought them comfort and will always be highly appealing to them, whether they're 2, 8, 12, or 20 years old.

However, their interest in letters will likely evolve and expand, as we'll look at shortly. For instance, they might move from reciting the alphabet forwards and backwards, learning new alphabets, or organizing things in alphabetical order to things like learning a new language or an interest in fonts or calligraphy.

So, when does this interest in letters fade?

Well, like I said, the love for letters may still be there for years to come.

The interest, however, may become less intense, usually around the time they start elementary or primary school, or become even more discreet as a teenager.

Sometimes the interest might fade a bit when they start to learn to read. And sometimes it fades simply because they've moved on to new things or because they've learned how to mask their abilities and interests.

Regardless, it's important to remember that every hyperlexic child is different and there's no clear or fast answers to any of these questions.

However, the intensity and the topics of interest will change and evolve as the child grows. Yet, as the saying goes, you never forget your first love (in this case, letters).

A Look at How Interests in Hyperlexia Evolve & Change

The thing to note about a hyperlexic child's interests is that "their interest in letters eventually opened to other interests." (Ostrolenk et al., 2023) In other words, their first interest in letters essentially acts as a stepping stone for new interests.

For instance, their interest in letters might move into an interest in license plates and then an interest in books and reading. Then they might move to spelling, fonts, and logos. From there, they might move to learning different languages.

You can see from this example that hyperlexic "interests tended to become more complex; for example, an interest in books was added to their interest in letters." (Ostrolenk et al., 2023) What starts off simple, gets more complex.

It's also been shown that hyperlexic "interests expanded through their partial similarity with a previous interest." (Ostrolenk et al., 2023)

For example, letters and numbers are quite similar and are often grouped together. So it makes sense that many hyperlexic kids gravitate towards an interest in numbers after learning the alphabet. From there, their interests might move to counting, math, shapes, calculators, clocks, calendars and dates, Roman numerals, coding, and so on.

Sometimes a hyperlexic child's interests in letters and numbers expand to things that combine both of these interests. Think license plates, road signs, the periodic table, nutrition labels, and even music.

Speaking of music...Music is such a natural stepping stone for hyperlexic learners. Things like the musical alphabet, music symbols that are letters (e.g., f for forte), time signatures, rhythm, intervals, lyrics, etc. all lean into those interests in letters, numbers, and patterns. And yes, hyperlexic kids are drawn to patterns, in case you didn't know that.

It also makes sense that hyperlexic learners are drawn to music, given that they are gestalt language processors. As a result, they are naturally drawn to things like intonation, pitch, and musicality.

It's also worth noting that it's fairly common for hyperlexic learners to have perfect pitch. So, again, an interest in music is definitely a logical next step for many of these kids.

So, while letters are often the first interest, that interest expands and becomes more complex, branching into topics like math, music, and the periodic table. Just like we discussed.

As the hyperlexic child approaches the preteen and teenage years, you might notice interests such as console and video game history, Nintendo and Mario, coding, social justice, and animals (just to name a few). By the way, these are topics that other parents of older hyperlexic kids have shared with me, as well as ones from my experience with my hyperlexic son. So it's just a sampling of some of the possibilities.

Now, obviously it's worth noting that not all hyperlexic kids will move to all of these particular topics or in the order that I've listed them. Sometimes they're not always linear and sometimes interests develop concurrently. 

Regardless, the above examples show you how those interests in letters could possibly evolve and change as the hyperlexic child grows.

It might also be worth reading through these common interests for hyperlexic kids, as I certainly didn't touch on all of these common interests here. I just covered some of the most prominent ones related to letters and numbers.

Final Notes on How Hyperlexic Interests Change as a Child Grows

Okay, I know that was a lot, so let's summarize what was discussed above:

• A hyperlexic child's first interest is letters and it's usually quite an intense interest.

• This interest in letters may fade as they grow older, becoming less intense or more discreet. Or it may fade as they start to learn to read or because they're learned how to mask their abilities and interests.

• Hyperlexic kids will likely always have a love for letters and find letters comforting so they may return to those same interests, especially in moments of overwhelm or stress.

• How an interest in letters might evolve: Letters ➡ License plates ➡ Books and reading ➡ Spelling, fonts, and logos ➡ Different languages

• How an interest in letters shifts to a number/math focus: Letters ➡ Numbers and counting ➡ Math and shapes ➡ Calculators, clocks, and calendars ➡ Roman numerals ➡ Coding

• How an interest in letters and numbers may combine into new interests: Letters and numbers ➡ License plates and road signs ➡ Periodic table and nutrition labels ➡ Music

• Not all hyperlexic kids will move to all of these particular topics or in the order that's listed. They are just some examples to show you that hyperlexic interests do evolve and change as the child grows.

I hope you found this information about how interests in hyperlexia evolve and change helpful.

How to Talk to Autistic Kids About Masking & Why You Should

Tips for how to talk to autistic kids about masking and the reasons why you should.

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It's so important to help autistic kids learn about their own autistic identity. Especially if you want them to be strong self-advocates as they grow, which I think we can agree is definitely something that we want.

Building a strong identity for your autistic child starts with telling them that they're autistic.

You can also talk to them about other autistic traits such as stimming and samefoods. Or special interests and infodumping. You can talk about autistic joy, celebrate differences, and highlight their strengths.

But one topic that probably doesn't get discussed enough is autism masking in children, despite it having a profound impact on mental health, among other things. After all, masking is something that a lot of autistic learners will engage in, even if they're not aware of it. Especially at school.

So, below we're going to discuss how to talk to autistic kids about masking and why you should. There are lots of benefits, as you'll see.

You'll also learn a variety of tips and strategies to start the conversation and even get a book recommendation. So let's dive in!

Reasons to Talk to Autistic Kids About Autistic Masking

Before we dive into some specific reasons, I'd like this section off by sharing a passage from "Masking in Autistic Children: The Child's Voice" by Jodie Smitten. In this paper, Jodie writes:

"All participants had discovered they masked by discovering that masking exists!...Knowledge is power. I advocate for autistic children and young people to be given support around self-understanding, self-acceptance and self-advocacy to protect their mental health. Autistic masking is part of the autistic experience and so children having better knowledge of it and how it impacts them can only lead to better outcomes."

This quote highlights just how empowering learning about autism masking can be for autistic children.

But, if that quote isn't reason enough, there are plenty of other benefits to talking to autistic kids about masking. For instance, it:

• Teaches a child that autism masking exists and is a real thing

• Helps a child understand their own experiences and gives them the language to communicate those experiences

• Validates a child's experiences

• Builds self-advocacy skills

• Promotes self-awareness

• Can reduce feelings of isolation or confusion (i.e., they know that masking is a common experience among autistic individuals)

• Encourages a child to embrace their differences and be themselves

• Can improve emotional regulation

• Helps a child identify coping strategies, safe spaces, and safe people

• Leads to better support from parents, teachers, etc.

• Improves mental health

• Builds trust and empathy (i.e., others can better understand the child's experiences and parents show they're willing to talk about important autistic traits)

• Promotes self-acceptance

As you can see, there are lots of benefits to talking to kids about autism masking. But how do you start the conversation? What do you talk about? What should you focus on? Well, that's what we'll cover next.

How to Talk to Autistic Kids About Masking

Like a lot of discussions about autistic identity and traits, this conversation about masking will be an ongoing one. It is something you will talk about more than once, especially as the child grows, their needs change, the social demands change, and so on.

So here are some tips for talking to your autistic child about masking behaviors:

• Define what autism masking is by using language and descriptions that are appropriate for the child's age, developmental level, and level of understanding - Keep things simple, use concrete and observable examples of masking behaviors, use analogies to make the concept more understandable, etc.

• Describe what autism masking looks like and what signs your child can look out for

• Observe and document the ways in which your child might be masking and make a list of situations where they might mask and any signs of masking in children you notice.

• Discuss some of the reasons why they might mask and why it might be helpful from time to time

• Talk about what makes your child feel safe and comfortable - Doing so will give you an idea of when, where, or with whom they feel safe enough to unmask

• Discuss some of the ways that a child might be inadvertently taught to mask their autistic traits (e.g., someone tries to stop them from stimming or forces them to make eye contact)

• Talk about when they might mask and when they might not (e.g., at school vs. at home)

• Discuss related topics such as sensory overload and autistic burnout, which can result from ignoring and masking sensory needs

• Write a social story about autism masking - You can use this free social story template to help

• Read books with your child that discuss autism masking - The book Speak Up! by Rebecca Burgess is an excellent choice.

• Discuss some of the long-term effects and consequences of autistic masking so that they are aware of them - You might want to keep them more general or only highlight what might be most relevant, depending on their age.

• Have ongoing conversations about identity, their support needs, advocating for those needs, etc. and be sure to highlight their strengths and celebrate differences while doing so

• Help kids understand their energy levels (try this free self care battery printable) and how to manage or balance those energy levels

• Discuss when masking might be needed for safety reasons

• Encourage questions and create an open and judgement-free space for talking about things like masking and autistic identity

• Talk about emotions and well-being

• Ask your child to share about their own experiences in different social situations - They might be able to touch on some of the internal struggles they are facing that aren't otherwise observable.

Remember, you will have to revisit this conversation and topic on a regular basis. So, it's important that you keep communication open and check in frequently with your child. Be available to answer any questions they may have and always keep learning more about autism masking.

Summary of Talking to Kids About Autism Masking

If you want your autistic child to live authentically and be a strong advocate for their needs, then you need to talk to them about important elements of autistic culture, such as autistic masking.

As you've been shown, there are plenty of benefits to talking to your child about this particular social survival strategy. Even just knowing that masking exists is extremely powerful!

There are lots of ways to have conversations about masking with your autistic child. You can read books, talk about identity and energy levels, discuss what the signs and reasons for masking are, and help your child identify situations in which they mask.

Remember that these conversations will be ongoing. They're not a one-and-done type of conversation. And hopefully these tips for how to talk to autistic kids about masking will come in handy as you continue to have these conversations going forward.