Examples of Unusual Fears Common in Hyperlexia

A look at some examples of the intense and unusual fears that are common in hyperlexia.

---

One hyperlexic trait that doesn't get discussed enough is the development of intense, specific, and unusual fears.

Yet, despite rarely being discussed, "a general unexplained sense of anxiety" and "a specific fear about something unusual" are both incredibly common in hyperlexia (quotes are from Reading Too Soon, but Murdick et al., 2004 highlighted "general anxiety, specific fears" as well). It's something we've experienced personally as well, as you'll see in some little anecdotes that I've included throughout this article.

What's particularly fascinating to me, though, is the themes of these fears and the patterns that have emerged over the last 10+ years of talking with other hyperlexia families. Any time I talk to a parent about these intense fears, the same certain themes keep popping up.

So let's take a closer look at some examples of unusual fears common in hyperlexia and why they might be so common.

Examples of Unusual Fears Common in Hyperlexia

To compile this list, I asked parents and hyperlexic adults to share examples of some of the intense, specific, and unusual fears that they've seen with their own child and/or have experienced themselves. Here are the most common hyperlexia fears that were brought up:

• Cartoon, animated, and/or animatronic characters, especially those with big or surprised eyes

• The Happy Birthday song

• Weather (e.g., wind, clouds, and natural disasters)

• Swimming and pools

• Loud and/or specific noises (e.g., hand dryers, vacuums, alarms)

• Anything that crawls (e.g., ants)

• Failure and rejection

Please keep in mind that this list is not exhaustive. These are just the most common ones that parents and hyperlexic adults shared and are themes that came up multiple times. Other fears can vary from door knobs and Judge Judy to windmills, and small flames, for instance.

1. Animated & Animatronic characters

Cartoon and animated characters, especially those with big or surprised eyes was one of those themes that came up the most frequently. This fear may or may not relate to eye contact or there could be other underlying reasons.

Then there's animatronic characters, which often move in jerky, non-human ways. And seriously, I'm with them on this one because some of those animatronic characters are downright terrifying, especially really old ones. (I'm thinking of the super old, creepy ones that are at our local museum in particular...) 

2. The Happy Birthday Song

Think about what happens when a group of people start to sing Happy Birthday. Not everyone sings in sync or in tune. They might be singing different pitches, at different volumes, and at different speeds. And, frankly, it can sound a bit chaotic.

Now, imagine you are a hyperlexic gestalt language processor where you are drawn to the intonation, pitch, and rhythm of music. Then consider the fact that many hyperlexic kids also have perfect pitch...I bet you can see why this song creates a strong reaction from some of these kids. And we haven't even touched on other sensory elements, such as lighting changes, that are involved in the birthday singing process!

3. Weather, specifically wind, clouds, and natural disasters

For my hyperlexic son, clouds were a big source of distress. The fear that clouds would cause him was so strong - and SO intense! - that we often couldn't get him outside in the summer, even if there was just one little cloud in the sky.

Interestingly enough, a fear of thunderstorms was mentioned in one of the first documented cases of hyperlexia (a little boy named Gordon) identified in the literature (see: Parker, 1917).

While hyperlexic kids love routine, weather is anything but routine. It can be wildly unpredictable! But there's also things like sounds, lighting changes, and the change in pressure to also consider here.

4. Swimming and pools

It's so interesting that this fear was mentioned by so many parents and hyperlexic adults because this was another fear for my son. He would have a death grip on us in the pool and wouldn't let go. But, it's interesting to think of how far he's come now, given that he's only one step away from finishing his lifeguard certification.

This fear likely crops up so frequently in hyperlexia due to heightened sensory experiences, whether that's visually, auditorily, or in terms of proprioceptive sensory input.

5. Loud and/or specific noises

Think hand dryers, vacuums, alarms, or, for my son, buzzers when the score clock runs out. This fear makes sense given that "sensitivity to loud noises" (Martins Miller, 1993; Murdick et al., 2004) and "unusual sensitivities to sounds" (Canadian Hyperlexia Association's What is Hyperlexia? PDF) are included on the list of hyperlexic traits. Even Parker (1917) mentioned the "physical apprehension of sound" as part of Gordon's hyperlexic profile.

6. Anything that crawls

Ants was one particular example that families have shared with me. Interestingly, that little boy Gordon I mentioned earlier was also "afraid of snakes, frogs, and toads." (Parker, 1917) I suspect it could be related to how these critters move, which, if you think about it, can be quite unpredictable. They don't move in a straight line or any predictable way at all, just slithering, hopping, or crawling in every which direction. Either way, this fear of anything that crawls was mentioned quite a few times by parents.

7. Failure and Rejection

Many hyperlexic kids are perfectionists so this fear of failure and rejection isn't entirely surprising. It may also relate to "unrealistic assessment of their abilities and the high level of demands placed on them by teachers and parents" (Silberberg & Silberberg, 1968 - they're the ones that coined the term hyperlexia, by the way) so they often worry about making a mistake.

Richman and Kitchell (1981) also discussed how "undue educational stress [is] placed on these children by unrealistic expectations of parents and teachers."

You can read more about the effects of high expectations in hyperlexia here.

The rejection fear may also relate to their language and social differences. For instance, hyperlexic learners rely on scripts so, if someone doesn't follow the script or rejects the interaction, then it can feel like a broken rule or like they're losing their safety net (i.e., those scripts aren't working like expected). In other words, when someone "breaks" a rule by not following the script, it can feel as wrong as someone saying 2+2=5. And, I don't know about you, but my son much prefers when rules are followed.

Important Reminders About These Intense Fears

Remember, for hyperlexic kids, these fears are extremely intense. Some are even described as "phobic-like behavior" (Kupperman et al., 1998). The Treffert Center's Hyperlexia Manual also mentions the presence of "specific fears or phobias" in hyperlexia. And honestly, that is very much how my son's weather anxiety and fear felt. It felt like a phobia. (Which, by the way, nephophobia is the name for a cloud phobia.)

It's also important to remember that these fears, no matter how unusual or specific they are, are very much real threats to them. Their brains are processing it as a genuine emergency. So even if you don't understand why something like a cloud or cartoon character might be threatening or scary, it's important to respect that to them it is scary.

Also, keep in mind that their fears might be amplified because they often don't yet have the flexible language to ask for help or explain what's going on, especially if they are young or in the early stages of language development. I know with my son it was challenging to get to the root of his weather fears in order to properly support him because he couldn't always explain what was happening or how he was feeling.

My hope here, though, is that these reminders and the exploration of these common hyperlexia fears can give you a deeper understanding of how these fears might present and why certain themes might be so common.

And maybe they can also provide you with a bit of peace knowing that you're not the only one out there trying to figure out why something like the birthday song can be so distressing to your child. Because you most definitely aren't the only one out there navigating this.

The Effects of High Expectations in Hyperlexia

A look at the effects of high expectations in hyperlexia and the stress and anxiety that result from those expectations.

---

Many hyperlexic children have anxiety or specific and unusual fears. 

Maybe you've noticed that the Happy Birthday song sets them off or the sight of Judge Judy triggers a full on sensory meltdown or shutdown. 

Or maybe their anxiety is much more general or all-encompassing.

For many hyperlexic learners, the anxiety can actually stem from the high expectations that are placed upon them simply because they are precocious readers. 

In fact, that's something that's been pointed out as far back as the 1960s when hyperlexia was first being described and defined. 

A link between anxiety and hyperlexia has been discussed a few times throughout the hyperlexia literature, which we'll cover below. And it's definitely something we need to talk more about.

So, below we'll look at the effects of high expectations in hyperlexia, as well as the stress and anxiety that result from those expectations. 

Heads up that this might not be an easy topic to read and explore, especially as a parent of a hyperlexic child. But it's an incredibly important one. So stick with me.

An Overview of Hyperlexia, High Expectations, & Anxiety

As mentioned above, many parents and teachers have high expectations for hyperlexic kids. It's not always intentional, I might add. 

I mean here you have a toddler or preschooler reading everything you put in front of them. They might be a child that's also spontaneously teaching themselves different languages or complex math. It's amazing and incredible. 

So, of course, it makes sense to continue to expect more amazing and incredible things from them. It's also a lot of pressure for our kids though.

But, too often, we forget that hyperlexic kids also have spiky learning profiles.

So you might have a four year old reading and learning about the periodic table of elements who isn't potty trained yet. Or you might know a hyperlexic adult who was always miles ahead in reading levels, but can't tie their shoes.

When we forget about their asynchronous development and focus too much on their reading ability, we can end up placing unrealistically high expectations on the hyperlexic learner. 

That's actually something that Silberberg and Silberberg even noted back in their 1968 paper on hyperlexia. 

They wrote that, "The demands put on hyperlexic children are greater than they may be able to handle, due to the unrealistically high expectations, both by the teachers and parents, based on the children's precocity in reading. The results of the child's inability to meet these expectations are environmental stress and an accompanying high level of anxiety."

They further elaborated by saying that, "The potentiality of later stress is expected to take the form of anxiety provoked by unrealistic assessment of their abilities and the high levels of demands placed on them by teachers and parents. It would seem that merely making teachers aware of the situation and its implications might reduce the stress put on these children and be beneficial to the educative process."

And that's actually what Richman and Kitchell (1981) confirmed in their research. They found that, "The present results are consistent with the Silberbergs' (1968) concern regarding undue educational stress placed on these children by unrealistic expectations of parents and teachers."

Specifically, Richman and Kitchell found that a hyperlexic child's "superior word-calling ability might serve to increase educational demands in reading comprehension and in other areas of achievement. However, their disability in the use of symbolic language suggests a need for careful diagnosis and possible remedial approaches in the areas of language functioning and reading comprehension."

The Effects of High Expectations in Hyperlexia

The implications from Richman and Kitchell's quoted research are huge here. 

First of all, a hyperlexic child might get continually overestimated simply because of their strengths in one area (i.e., reading). Which is something Lyric at Neurodivergent Rebel, a hyperlexic and autistic adult, has mentioned in this video of theirs. 

So the hyperlexic child might try to overcompensate for the challenges that they're facing (hello, perfectionism!). Then they end up putting immense pressure on themselves to perform at a certain standard as a result. And that will eventually catch up with them.

This need to overcompensate and strive for perfection can lead to lots of anxiety and stress. Just like the Silberbergs described back in the 1960s.

They might begin to feel like a failure or have low self-esteem because they feel they cannot live up to the expectations placed upon them. 

There's a great quote from an episode of the Neurodiversity Podcast on tweens and transitions that touches on that a bit. "Especially in the case of kids who are twice exceptional who are gifted but who may struggle in one particular area. Those kids are just as likely to be perfectionistic as kids who are just plain gifted, but then they have maybe a challenge that's getting in their way and that can be especially distressing because they're so hyperaware of exactly how they're falling short in their own mind."

Another implication here is that hyperlexic kids might try to hide their abilities. Or they might withdraw from participating in class or specific activities as a way to avoid showing their true abilities. 

This article on Psychology Today, for instance, points out that, "When the parents' expectations directly contradict how children experience themselves, children may hide parts of their identity." 

And that certainly does happen with hyperlexic kids. For example, there are some hyperlexic kids who avoid reading or participating in class, preferring instead to minimize or hide their skills as a way to perhaps fit or blend in.

And, if you're familiar with autistic masking at all, then you know that that's not good. It has a long term impact on mental health. As it is, comprehension masking in hyperlexia is extremely common.

It's also important to note that the challenges that often accompany hyperlexia might not be properly identified or supported because of these high expectations. These kids may even get "overlooked by parents and educators who may have been blinded by the students' early reading strengths." (Robertson, 2019).

As a result, hyperlexic kids may feel let down because people might not believe their struggles, disregard them, and/or downplay the challenges they face. 

As the Psychology Today article touches on, "Parental expectations are harmful when they are not based in our attunement to our children...our expectations can strike a debilitating blow to our children's development."

Recent research by Curran and Hill (2022) even notes that, "increases in parental expectations and parental criticism likely offer one of the most plausible explanations for rising perfectionism so far." And perfectionism is definitely something we see all too often in hyperlexic children.

So What Now? 

Clearly, it's important to set realistic expectations for our hyperlexic learners. Otherwise, there could be anxiety, self-esteem issues, masking, and so much more to watch out for. 

You not only have to consider the strengths and talents of hyperlexic kids, but also their challenges and asynchronies. It's a fine balance, I know.

For many hyperlexic children though, there's just too much focus on the strengths and abilities and not nearly enough focus on the areas they might need extra support with. Or sometimes it could be the reverse with too much focus on the can't dos and not enough focus on highlighting their abilities and strengths. 

Parents and teachers aren't doing this intentionally, by the way. I just want to reiterate that point. But more often than not, hyperlexic learners end up with ridiculously high expectations placed on them.

Sometimes the high expectations might be due in part to denial of co-occurring conditions or misinformation about hyperlexia. For instance, some parents don't want to admit that their child could very well be autistic or that hyperlexia is usually a red flag for comprehension issues (as Robertson 2019 notes).

Other times it's just part of societal expectations and educational demands that end up putting our hyperlexic learners into a very specific box. So parents feel they have to push their kids so hard academically just to keep up with the Joneses or whatever.

And other times it's simply that parents and educators don't know about hyperlexia yet. So they can't possibly understand the nuances of this unique learning style as a result.

Regardless, parents need to make sure that their hyperlexic children are well supported in all areas and that they also put reasonable and realistic expectations on them. 

Parents need to make sure they advocate for their hyperlexic child in school settings as well to ensure teachers are also setting realistic expectations. 

Remember, the Silberbergs suggested that, "It would seem that merely making teachers aware of the situation and its implications might reduce the stress put on these children and be beneficial to the educative process." It was true in 1968 and is still true today.

Parents also need to familiarize themselves with the signs of masking and anxiety and watch for the presence of those signs in their hyperlexic learners.

As some final food for thought, it was recently found that parents should "focus on prioritizing intrinsic, prosocial values that promote affiliation and community at least as much (or more than) they prioritize academic performance and external achievement. Parenting practices that directly or indirectly (i.e., modeling) encourage intrinsic versus extrinsic pursuits, and contribute to the satisfaction of children's needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness, may help children adopt life goals that foster happiness and well-being." (Ciciolla et al., 2016)

And I think we can agree that we want happy hyperlexic kids, not stressed out, frazzled kids who struggle due to the effects of high expectations and the anxiety that often accompanies those expectations.

Free Video Game Themed Anxiety Warning Signs Worksheet

Help older kids and teens identify how anxiety feels in their body with this free video game themed anxiety warning signs worksheet. They can color in the signs that they recognize in their body.

---

Sure it's important for kids to be able to name and recognize emotions, from anger to anxiety and everything in between. But it's even more important to help them identify and recognize the signs of those emotions in their own body. 

Being able to recognize those signs or symptoms in the early stages can mean that they use a coping strategy, if needed, sooner. That in turn can help reduce meltdowns. Or, in the case of anxiety, that might mean avoiding a panic attack.

However, I know that if I were to ask my anxious son to describe how his body feels and name his anxiety symptoms, that it would be a tough task for him to verbalize. Yet, give him a written list with a variety of options and the task will be significantly easier. That's what it's like to play into his hyperlexic learning style though.

Anyway, I paired it with an interest of his - video games! - and voila, it's the perfect fit for him. So yeah, that's where the idea for this video game themed anxiety warning signs worksheet came from.

About this Anxiety Warning Signs Worksheet

This worksheet is best geared towards teens and/or older kids in the middle years grades. It can be used to help kids identify their own anxiety triggers.

They can simply color in, highlight, or circle the anxiety symptoms that apply to them. Maybe they feel like crying or their heart rate increases. Or maybe they get all tense and feel a tightness in their chest. That's for them to figure out. With or without your guidance, of course.

You'll find a wide variety of warning signs of anxiety listed on this printable worksheet including:

• Shortness of breath

• Speech difficulties

• Negative thoughts

• Irritability

• Stomach pain

• Crying

• Dry mouth

• Refusing to do certain things

• Overthinking

• ...and so much more!

Download the Free Video Game Themed Anxiety Printable

This one page printable features a cute video game controller emoji and a huge list of anxiety warning signs for your child to color in, highlight, or circle. Simply download, print, and let your child identity their warning signs.

To get a copy of this printable, click the link below:

>> Click here to download the free printable

 

Want More Ideas for Teaching Emotions? Try this Video Game Themed Printable Pack!

This printable is a free sample from the Video Game Themed Emotions Pack. If you love this activity and this theme, then grab a copy of the full emotions pack below. The pack also includes an anger warning signs printable like this one.

Get your copy of the Video Game Themed Emotions Pack

Free Printable Video Game Controller Themed Coping Skills Worksheets

Do your kids love video games and need help with self-regulation? Then these video game themed coping skills worksheets are perfect for them!

---

It's no secret my family loves video games. Like a lot. So much so that I've even made a handful of video game themed birthday cakes by this point, the most recent being a Mario coin block and a NES console (neither of which are on the blog yet, but either are last year's cakes...).

If you know me well, or even follow me on Instagram, then you also know that I'm a big proponent of using your child's interest to teach new skills. 

So if I can combine my kids' interests with something else, it's going to be a big win.

That's where these video game themed coping skills worksheets come in. They get my boys thinking about what they can do to help them stay regulated (or "in control"), all while appealing to their love for video games.

About these Video Game Controller Themed Coping Skills Worksheets

These worksheets are based on this brilliant idea from Crozet School Counseling. She used it specifically with her class to come up with strategies for test taking. Unfortunately, there was no printable version and some kids might prefer something other than PlayStation controllers.

Since I already had some video game controller clipart that I used for this I spy game, I thought it would be fun to put it to use again.

The idea is to have the kids brainstorm their favorite strategies that help them stay "in control" of their body and emotions. Then they can pick one of the seven different controller worksheets and fill in the boxes with their favorite coping strategies. 

Ideas to Help Your Kids & Teens Fill in these Coping Skills Worksheets

These coping skills worksheets are great for teens, tweens, and kids who love video games and can be used to discuss anger strategies, worry strategies, coping strategies, impulse control, or anything else you can think of. 

But if you need some ideas to help your kids with the brainstorming part, here are some useful resources:

• List of 100 calm down strategies

• 50 heavy work activities

• Calm down breathing techniques

• Grounding techniques like the 5 senses or the tree grounding technique

• 5 quick ways to manage anger

• 8 anxiety strategies

Download the Free Video Game Controller Themed Coping Skills Worksheets

This printable pack includes 7 different video game controllers with spots for kids to write down their favorite coping skills and calm down strategies. The number of spots to write varies from controller to controller.

To get a copy of this printable, click the link below:

>> Click here to download the free printable

 

How to Make Scented Worry Hearts for Anxious Kids

These scented felt hearts are a great alternative to worry stones for kids.

---

Once upon a time, I gave needle felting a try.

My original goal was to make a bunch of felt letters and numbers for my hyperlexic son (it's what one does when letters and numbers are a passion). I did eventually needle felt the numbers one through four, but that's about as far as I got before I determined that needle felting wasn't the hobby for me...

Anyway, one of the first projects I attempted were these needle felted hearts since it was so close to Valentine's Day. But I decided to make them scented and use them as an anxiety and self-regulation tool for my son.

The result? These lavender scented worry hearts for anxious kids.

There are two different ways you can make your own worry hearts, so don't worry if you can't needle felt! You'll find both tutorials for how to make worry hearts below. And, of course, adding scent is completely optional.

How to Make Lavender Scented Worry Hearts the Easy Way (Option #1)

This is the easiest way to make worry hearts, perfect for those of you who don't know how to needle felt or don't want to needle felt.

Here's what you'll need:

• Craft felt

• Scissors

Simply cut hearts out of felt. Add lavender essential oil (optional) if you want them to be scented. And boom, that's it!

How to Make Needle Felted Hearts to Use As a Worry Stones Alternative (Option #2)

To create these scented felt hearts, I used:

• Pink wool roving - I asked the boys what color of hearts they wanted. They both picked pink.

• Needle felting tools & foam

• Lavender essential oil (optional) - Vetiver would be another great choice.

• Heart cookie cutter

So these hearts were the first two needle felting projects that I've ever done. Ever.

I consider it a victory that I only poked myself a couple of time. And only once did I draw blood. Overall, I am pleased with how they turned out.

Thankfully, I followed this great tutorial from Zing Zing Tree on how to needle felt hearts. Except I didn't round the edges as nicely as she did.

Once the hearts were formed, I added a drop or two (usually two - not on purpose, by the way - because it drips so quickly!) of lavender essential oil. Then I massaged the oil into the felt and rubbed it around as best as I could.

Voila! Scented felt hearts!

Using Worry Hearts with Anxious Kids

These worry hearts make a great alternative to worry stones or worry dolls for kids and are perfect for little hands to hold. Even if said hands are covered in cheesy chip crumbs and red pen marks. Ahem...

Their small size also allows them to easily be tucked into pockets. Then your child can pull them out when they are feeling nervous, worried, or stressed.

And if you chose to add lavender essential oils to your worry hearts like I did, then your child can simply sniff the hearts, when needed, to reap the benefits of the lavender, which is generally a calming scent. Smelling lavender can be a quick and easy grounding technique.

These worry hearts can be also be a visual reminder that someone loves them and can be a great tool to use if your child has separation anxiety. Simply give the heart a hug or kiss before giving it to your child. Then let them know that when they are missing you, they can look at or squeeze their felt worry heart to feel connected to you.

You could also make a bunch of these and give them out as a non-candy alternative for Valentine's Day.

Other Anxiety Resources You'll Love

Anxiety Resources for Parents

The Best Anxiety Picture Books

Books About Anxiety for Parents

This post was part of a series with my friends from House of Burke and Still Playing School. Here's what they made:

Building Hearts with Blocks from House of Burke

Waterproof Sand Heart Sensory Play from Still Playing School

How to Help Your Anxious Child Talk About Their Worries

Help kids with anxiety open up and talk about their worries with these seven tips and strategies.

---

It's one thing to help your kids cope with their anxiety and worries, but it's another thing entirely to get them to openly talk about those worries. After all, it can be tricky to know how to best support and help them if you don't really know what it is they're worried about in the first place.

These seven tips that I'm going to share are all about helping your child with anxiety express themselves, whether it's through journaling or an open discussion with you, the parent. There's also suggestions on how to best have these discussions so that they'll continue to come to you for help with their anxiety.

How to Help Your Anxious Child Talk About Their Worries

Ready to help encourage your anxious child to discuss and share their worries with you?

Well, then I truly hope you'll find these 7 tips helpful.

{Click here to read the full post on CBC Parents.}

One Simple Coping Strategy that You Can Use Anywhere

It's important to teach coping skills to kids as a way to manage anger, anxiety, and stress. This simple coping strategy can be used anywhere and anytime by both adults and kids alike.

---

I'm all about filling my kids' coping skills toolbox so that they can cope with stress and anxiety and manage their anger both now and in the future.

Basically, I want to raise resilient kids.

We do a lot of deep breathing for instance. And we have things like a calm down corner and a calm down kit.

But it's also important that my kids know some coping strategies that they can do anywhere and anytime. Because let's face it - we face most of the difficult, frustrating, and overwhelming things when outside our home.

That's why I want to share one of our favorite coping strategies with you. It's such a simple coping strategy for anxiety and stress and yes, it can be used anywhere and anytime. It requires no fancy materials.

Try this Coping Strategy for Stress & Anxiety

Deep breathing and counting are both excellent coping strategies, but this particular strategy combines the two. It's a simple way to reset when you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even angry about something. Just pause and follow the steps below.

It's important to remember that if you or your child are already in meltdown mode, then this strategy isn't going to work. The idea is to use this coping strategy before you lose control as a way to reduce the likelihood of a meltdown or tantrum occurring (read about the difference between meltdowns and tantrums here).

So when you need to reset, just remember to breathe and count.

How to Use this Coping Strategy

This strategy is super simple and straightforward. And it's a great coping skill to teach kids to help with anger, stress, or anxiety. You can remember this technique with the numbers 3-10-1-10. Numbers are my son's thing after all...Here's how it works:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Take three slow deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth.
3. Next, count to ten slowly.
4. Once you reach ten, take another deep breath and pause for a few seconds.
5. Now slowly count backwards from ten.
6. Open your eyes.

And that's it! 

Other Coping Skills Resources You'll Love

40+ Things to Put in a Calm Down Kit for Kids {Free Printable}

5 Ways to Help an Angry Child Cope with Big Emotions

Free Printable Visual Calm Down Cards

The Best Anxiety Picture Books for Kids

If you have an anxious child who is always worrying, then you'll love this list of children's books about anxiety for kids. You can use these anxiety picture book suggestions to open up a discussion about anxiety with your child, teach them valuable coping strategies, and help them better understand what anxiety is.

---

When you have a kid that taught themselves to read before age two (hello, hyperlexia!), you go through a lot of books.

And that's precisely what I did to put together this book list. Yep, I read a lot of books in order to write this list of children's books on anxiety. I'm pretty sure I checked out every available option from my public library...

But with good reason.

I wanted to make sure you had a good solid list of recommendations of anxiety books that you could share with your kids and open up a discussion about anxiety.

In particular, I wanted the books on this list to be helpful for kids who worry. I wanted the books to explain what anxiety is in a kid friendly way and how it presents itself in a child's day to day life. I wanted kids to enjoy the stories, but still walk away with helpful strategies and ideas that they could actually use.

Basically, I wanted a list of books that would teach and empower kids about their anxiety so they can better understand how to manage and cope with their worries.

So let's dig in, shall we?

About this List of Children's Books About Anxiety

Before I dive in, however, here's what you need to know about this list of books for kids who worry:

• There are suggestions on this list that are better geared towards little ones and then there are others that are better geared towards older kids. So be sure to read my descriptions closely and review the suggested ages on the Amazon listings to make sure they are the right fit for your child.

• This list will be continually added to as I find and discover new children's books on anxiety.

• I have actually, physically read every single book on this list myself. I think it's important for parents to read books closely themselves to make sure the anxiety books they share with their children are accurate, positive, and helpful.

• I've also included a section that talks about a few popular anxiety books for kids that I didn't like and why. I don't want you to waste time on books that aren't that great. But obviously, all opinions are my own and you might disagree. That's totally fine!

• I didn't include books that focused on mindfulness, deep breathing, or similar. You can find suggestions for mindfulness books for kids here.

The Best Picture Books About Anxiety for Kids

1. Hey Warrior

By Karen Young
Illustrated by Norvile Dovidonyte

Okay, this book is fantastic for a lot of reasons. Right away you'll notice the adorable illustrations, but the text itself is so good. The book does a really great job of explaining what anxiety is and why it happens, in a kid friendly way. And it also gives practical strategies that kids can use to deal with their worries.

Here are a just a few other comments I want to make about this book:

• Love that it names the brain part involved (amygdala), describes it as a child's anxiety warrior, and encourages kids to name their amygdala, which is handy for when your child needs to talk back to their worries

• Uses really good analogies that kids will understand (talking about toasters and fire alarms to explain how the amygdala works)

• Describes the body sensations of anxiety positively

• Gives practical strategies like talking back, using positive affirmations, and deep breathing

I think that this book is better geared towards slightly older kids because it is quite detailed and has lots of text. So it might be overwhelming for little ones.

There is also another book by this author called Hey Awesome, but I haven't found a copy of it to read yet.

2. The Worry Box

By Suzanne Chiew
Illustrated by Sean Julian

In this cute book, Murray the bear has worries so Molly shows him how to make a worry box to keep his worries in. There's so much to like about this book. For instance, I love how Molly validates Murray's feelings and worries. I also like how this book shows that everyone has worries. And finally, it offers lots of practical strategies like making a worry box (like the title implies), taking a deep breath, and talking about our worries with others.

3. All Birds Have Anxiety

By Kathy Hoopmann

Full color photographs of cute, and sometimes hilarious looking birds, show what it's like to live with anxiety on a daily basis in this book. I like how it describes lots of physical symptoms of anxiety and how anxiety can impact daily life. It gives lots of tips on how to control/manage anxiety, but I do wish it went into more depth for each suggestion.

Overall, a good book. It does have lots of text so it is better geared towards older kids.

4. Jonathan James and the Whatif Monster

By Michelle Nelson-Schmidt

If you have an anxious child, then you're all too familiar with the phrase, "But what if..."

But what if you were to rephrase those what if questions? That's what this little book is about. I love the rhyming and I think the whatif monster is so cute!

5. Is a Worry Worrying You?

By Ferida Wolff & Harriet May Savitz
Illustrated by Marie Le Tourneau

This book offers a fun and helpful approach to managing daily worries. Some of the worries are silly and some are more serious. But all worries - silly or not - are given positive solutions to help address them. I particularly like the format of this book in that a worry is introduced on one page and then the next page offers a solution to that worry. This book also does a good job describing what a worry is and gives lots of practical anxiety strategies at the end.

However, I need to talk about the illustrations though. They are a tad bit creepy, in my opinion. They kind of remind me of Tim Burton's style. So some children might get scared by the illustrations in this book. Not necessarily the ideal choice of illustrations to use for a children's book designed for anxious kids. However, it's still a really good book though!

6. Ruby Finds a Worry

By Tom Percival

One day Ruby finds a worry and it starts to grow bigger and bigger, reinforcing the idea that how worrying about a worry can actually make things worse. I like how this book shows that talking about worries can make those worries shrink, making you feel better. It also reminds kids that lots of people have worries and that they're not alone.

The illustrations are super cute and it obviously features a person of color as the main character (as you can tell by the cover). Representation matters!

Please note that this book may have an alternate title and cover: Ruby's Worry.

7. Pilar's Worries

By Victoria M. Sanchez
Illustrated by Jess Gordon

And speaking of representation, here's another anxiety picture book featuring a non-white child. In this book, Pilar loves to dance, but she also worries a lot, especially about auditioning for a part in a ballet. The book does a great job describing some of the physical symptoms of anxiety, but it also teaches kids the importance of remembering to breathe. It also teaches positive self-talk like, "I can do this!" I thought the illustrations in this book were beautiful too.

8. Don't Think About Purple Elephants

By Susanne Whelan
Illustrated by Gwynneth Jones

Sophie worries at night when everything in the house turns quiet and has trouble sleeping. Her mom tells her not to think about purple elephants, which distracts her enough to help her fall asleep. As you can tell, this book teaches the anxiety technique of distracting oneself (something I talk about here).

What I found particularly interesting is how the illustrations would change to primarily black and white except for whatever she was worrying about, that stayed in color. I thought it was really powerful imagery.

9. Thank Goodness for Bob

By Matthew Morgan
Illustrated by Gabriel Alborozo

This book illustrates the important of talking about your worries, even if it's just with your pet dog. I like how this book showed all kinds of worries from spiders and monsters to the dark or no one liking him. It reinforces that worries come in all shapes and sizes and that it's natural and normal to worry. And that we all worry to some degree.

I also like how this book focuses on teaching a strategy to deal with anxious thoughts. Specifically, talking about worries and letting them float away like they're bubbles. Then popping the bubbles to let go of the worrying thoughts.

10. The Don't Worry Book

By Todd Parr

The first thing I want to say is that I dislike the title of this book a lot. It's a really dismissive and overall, an unhelpful title. I mean telling a kid to "don't worry," isn't effective. At all.

However, the book itself is a nice simple introduction to worries for little ones. It presents common worries at the beginning and then gives practical coping strategies in the second half of the book. Although some of the strategies are super silly like wearing underwear on your head. But laughter and distraction can certainly help an anxious child!

11. Worry Says What?

By Allison Edwards
Illustrated by Ayesha Rubio

When I first stumbled across the book, the author's name looked familiar. Well, she's the author of Why Smart Kids Worry, an anxiety book I recommended on my anxiety book list for parents, so I was quite excited to check this book out.

This book describes the importance of talking back to the worry and using logic (the girl reminds herself to "tell myself what is true") and how those strategies can help shrink the worry (as shown by the worry monster getting smaller and smaller). I describe both of these anxiety strategies here. This book also offers three really great strategies at the end of the book for parents to try with their anxious kids.

Overall, a good little book with cute illustrations.

12. Small Things

By Mel Tregonning

This book is so different than everything else on this book list. It's a wordless graphic novel in black and white. It's definitely suited for older kids, like tweens or teens, who have good inference skills. However, parents can definitely explain what is happening to younger kids and open up a discussion about anxiety. And anxious adults themselves will definitely relate to this book.

I love the illustrations in this book. They're incredibly detailed and effective at showing how worries and anxious thoughts can gnaw away at a person. They might be a tad scary for little ones so again, I think this book is better suited for much older kids. The book ends with a powerful reminder to name our fears and reach out to others to help deal with the anxiety.

13. Jack's Worry

By Sam Zuppardi

This book does a good job of showing how anxiety can impact day to day life. For example, Jack was so worried he didn't feel like eating. And his worries eventually got so big that he had a meltdown.

This book also shows how pervasive anxious thoughts can be. At one point Jack tries to distract himself from the worries by running around, but the worrying thoughts still crept in.

Eventually Jack finds the words to describe his worries to his mom and his worries start to shrink, showing how helpful it can be to talk about the worry.

14. When My Worries Get Too Big!

By Kari Dunn Buron

This book is kind of a like a workbook and has places for kids to write and draw things related to their worries. It uses the 5 point scale to describe different levels of worries (one being small and five being big) and how that impacts a person's behaviors. It has simple text and drawings and presents a simple calming sequence that kids can use.

Overall, the story itself is just okay for me, but what I really like is that this book includes visuals that you can copy and use with your child. It also offers lots of practical strategies for parents at the end of the book.

15. When Lions Roar

By Robie H. Harris
Illustrated by Chris Raschka

This book is about a boy overwhelmed by loud noises, which is highly relevant for many autistic or sensory processing kids. This book teaches the strategy of talking back to the worry and how it can make you feel better. It's kind of like hitting the reset buttons, touching on anxiety strategies I share here.

The story is nothing fancy and the text is minimal, but the book is good for toddlers and preschool aged children. Also, I wasn't a huge fan of the illustrations. But overall, the book would still be helpful for lots of anxious kids.

The Anxiety Picture Books I Didn't Like & Why

Now, I have seen the following books recommended on other picture book lists and I have to say that I kind of wonder if the bloggers behind those lists even read the books they recommend...Seriously, I did not enjoy these ones.

So I want to give you a quick list of books I didn't like and why so you can focus instead on reading the good ones. Look at me doing all the dirty work for you hahaha

1. Wilma Jean, The Worry Machine by Julia Cook - Pair a dismissive mom with lots of text, no real story, and you get a kind of boring not so helpful book. That's this book in a nutshell. I mean, the book offers no real helpful coping strategies to kids who read the book. In fact, she magically gets better, in an instant too, nonetheless, which isn't realistic at all. Super disappointing book, especially for a Julia Cook book.

2. The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside - It had potential, but has some serious flaws. Everyone is so darn dismissive of her worries that it kind of made me mad. Then toss in some negative body image. Yep, she worries about looking fat and calls herself stupid. I wasn't a fan of this book at all.

3. I Can Handle It! by Laurie Wright - Boring and repetitive. I couldn't even finish reading this one.

4. Don't Feed the WorryBug by Andi Green - The drawings are cute, but the solution given at the end of this book isn't as simple and straightforward as they present. The concept of "just don't worry" isn't really a solution.

5. Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes - This book isn't helpful in any way. It doesn't explain what worries are or give tips on how to deal with worries. And her parents just keep dismissing her feelings by saying, "Don't worry." I want a book that will empower kids to open up and talk about their worries, not bury their feelings because adults disregard how the child feels.

6. David and the Worry Beast by Anne Marie Guanci - I hemmed and hawed about where to put this book...It's okay and does offer some great tips for kids and parents at the end. And it does offer some good strategies mentioned throughout the book. But there's so much I didn't like about this book. It is a lot of text for a picture book, in my opinion. The story is kind of boring so paired with the amount of text, this book wouldn't keep my kids attention at all. And the time line? He's instantly amazing at using these coping strategies by the next day. So while I'm not a fan, it might still be a helpful book for some older kids.

Other Resources to Help an Anxious Child

8 Strategies to Help an Anxious Child {Free Coping Cards Printable!}

10 Phrases to Teach an Anxious Child

The Worry Time Technique